We have all heard nightly news television media stories about Cyber and Text Bullying, unfortunately there is also Adult Bullying and it doesn't make the news very often. But it happens in homes and offices every day across America. Adult Bullying is very real and at times painful. How can you overcome mean insults, digs and actions without them having the power to steal your joy or put negativity in your day?
1. Remember Hurting people Hurt people. Most people are mean to others because they have no joy and want to put down or belittle others to make them feel better about themselves. I have found mean people can be living with abuse, have dysfunctional lives, have a serious illness or they can even be bitter about lost love. Their emotional well being is not your problem, but their problems typically are the root of the mean attitude they display to others.
2. Be a Duck, Ducks Don't Talk, they Fly off. Ducks have waterproof feathers so everything rolls off their backs. Let the words the mean person says roll off, don't let them stick on you. There is no sense arguing with a foolish, mean person. It's better to be silent, at first and think about the proper way to handle the situation. It's a wise person that that holds their tongue and overlooks an offense. If you are emotionally charged, it's helpful to discuss the situation with a person who is not emotionally involved. If you react to the mean person, it can make things worse! They will think they are wise in their own eyes by getting you to react to their words. Silence is powerful.
3. Put up Healthy Boundaries. We cannot control what anyone says or does, however we can control what we will and won't put up with in our daily life. Make a decision in advance of how you want to handle mean people for the next time. You have lots of choices, ignore them, stay away from them, or confront them gently with a sincere non-threatening approach. Putting up healthy boundaries can be one of the best ways to deal with people, it's best to do it at the right time, when things calm down.
4. Kindness Works. The most practical way to deal with a mean person is too be kind. It's hard to be mean to someone who shows you nothing but kindness and compassion. At the end of the day, you can look in the mirror and feel good about your own healthy choices. You really don't want to replay mean words and an argument over and over in your head all day. It's better to be a duck, shake your ruffled feathers and enjoy another beautiful day because it is a gift!
For One-on-One Coaching on how to deal with a mean or difficult person (mother, spouse, child, coworker, relative, boss etc.) go to www.lauradellutri.net you can private email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
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